Some Interesting Jokes

Customer Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter Can't you tell the difference by taste?

Customer No,I can't.
Waiter Then does it really matter?
Customer Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.Customer Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter That's all right sir, he won't drink much.Customer Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Lady Is this my train?
Station Master No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can takethis train to New Delhi.
Station Master No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife Do you want dinner?
Husband Sure, what are my choices?
Wife Yes and no.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, Order, order.
The drunkard immediately responded, Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda.

Customer If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in Two days time?

Post Master Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer I bet you, it won't.
Post Master Why not?

Customer It's addressed to Mumbai.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
My trouble is, he said, that I keep forgetting things.
How long has this been going on? asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on? said the man.
Girl Do you love me?
Boy Yes Dear.
Girl Would you die for me?
Boy No, mine is undying love.

1st thief Oh The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief Hurry This is no time for superstitions.

Man How old is your father?
Boy As old as me.
Man How can that be?
Boy He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher Correct the sentence, A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field
Student A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher How?
Student Ladies first.

Waiter I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, Shouting,
Daddy Daddy I got a 100 in school today!
That's great, Sweetheart, said her daddy.
Come in to the living room and tell me about it.
Well, began the confession, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science.